Sunday, 13 April 2014

It's Black and White and sometimes Grey...lol

Of course I was up at my BFF's house again yesterday and nearly pissed myself laughing when her man suddenly showed up from doing renovation work. My friend lives with the only black man in this area. A man, who by the way is very much liked, and respected by all who have the pleasure to know him. Like Newfies in general, he is always the first one to crack a joke about himself. Ask him to do something and he'll say, "yea, sure, get the black guy to do it!" And then laugh and run the errand requested with no complaint. He's been working his black ass off to help my friend get her business up and running. Prior to meeting her, he really had no carpenter skills and has learned much along the way.

Meet the black guy,


Ok, he's no Denzel Washington, and maybe he does look a little insane.... And maybe he is off color and bug eyed, but he's her man and she's his woman.






Knowing how hard we laugh, how often I pee and how funny my BFF's  pee dance is, she put this post on my facebook page which cracked me up and compelled me to copy it for this blog.



LAUGHTER HEALS THE SOUL AND ADDS EXTRA YEARS
TO YOUR LIFE.

HAVE YOU TICKLED YOUR ENDORPHIN'S
TODAY??? 

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Friday, 11 April 2014

My talented friend.....

Yesterday I went for an unscheduled visit with my BFF. I'll use just about any excuse to spend time with her. It's never a cheap run though...lol. Our gas is over $1.40 a liter and of course I can't walk in without my 6 pk of brewskies...lol.

I knew she was upholstering a chair and the last time I was there she was close to using the seat foam as a pee sponge and the chair was a naked frame waiting to be dressed. When I walked in her house yesterday my mouth dropped open and the first sound out of it was WOW!!!


She did a wicked job, even though she tried to convince me she wasn't happy with it. I of course told her she was full of shit.

This woman has more talent in her baby finger then most people have in their whole body and she won't charge what she should be charging.

The lucky owner of this chair will pay a pittance for the time and work my friend put into it.





And here's the hard working little lady....
 My friend forever....

So yea, we had our usual crazy conversation, laughed a lot, drank a few, smoked our smokes and even took a run to the store where she bought 3 more 12ft lengths of baseboard for her new business which is part of her house but on the lower level. It's lucky my van is as long as it is because I can almost close the rear door even with her baseboard on board. 

I just now realized that my next trip up will be sooner then planned...lol.  I took my seeds up for her to go through and guess what? I forgot to pick them up yesterday...lol.  She'll say I did it on purpose just for an excuse for a return visit. Perhaps that's true on a psychological level....lol. 


Have a great day everybody and if you can't spend time with your BFF, then call 'em up, have a yap, or send them an email, I guarantee you'll make their day!

Ciao for now....

Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Time well spent....

I had a busy run around kind of day yesterday starting with a trip down to the local hardware store to pick up the greenhouse I had ordered the week before. Two hundred and change dollars later I left the building. I've decided to start putting pine on my kitchen walls a little at a time so I bought 2 packs yesterday to start me off. I've also decided my ceilings are in dire need of a paint job so a gallon of ceiling paint landed in my cart. And since I bought the greenhouse I could not resist picking up starter plant pots and soil so they landed in the cart too. After paying for my purchases I had to drive around to the back of the store to pick up the pine and the greenhouse as they wouldn't fit in the cart. I backed up to the large bay door and jumped out to open the back door of my van. My foot landed on ice and I nearly wiped out right there beside my van. Of course I quickly looked around to see if anybody had seen my awkward balance recovery moves...lol  Lucky for me the place was deserted. I carefully made my way to the back of the van (it was a large slick of thin ice that went pretty much the length of my van) and opened the rear door. Still there was no one to be seen but my stuff was right there and easy to get at. I put the two packs of pine in and was about to heave the greenhouse in when one of the staff finally showed up and put it in for me. I mentioned the ice situation which he shrugged off and then mumbled something about needing to throw a bit of salt on it. I couldn't help but think that if I had fallen and hurt myself there would be more then a little salt needed. With my stuff aboard the van I gingerly made my way to the driver's seat and took off.
What a beautiful day it was and I was happy to be on the move. So much of this winter had been spent locked in doors. Just having above zero temps and a brilliant sunny day was enough to energize my spirit.
My plan was to head to my crazy BFF's place but I knew I didn't have to hurry because she is a night owl and rarely goes to bed until I'm getting up (around 5am). So I stopped in at another friend's place and had a coffee with her and her man, forty minutes later I headed down the road again. I only have a couple of close friends here in Newfoundland and I must say they are both fabulous ladies loaded with talent and brains.
When I arrived at my BFF's she was lounging on the sofa having her first smoke of the day and still groggy from the little amount of sleep she ever gets. I felt no guilt about being there and sailed on into the kitchen and put my 6 pack of beer in her fridge. A little moaning and a little groaning and she was up and at 'em...lol
She needed a few things from the store and I knew I still wanted to get some groceries so we took off and did our prospective shopping. Me in grocery land and her in hardware land...lol  The nice thing about Burton's is that they run both grocery and hardware out of the same building and we can walk back and forth between both sections. We didn't spend a long time there, I got my few bags of grub and we drove around and had the guy put her 12ft lengths of baseboard in the back of the van. This time the back door wouldn't close all the way but it didn't matter because she only lives around the corner anyway. Along with the baseboard she also bought paint, not for her home but for the store she is in the process of starting up.
We had one more stop at the drug store and then we headed to her place to do what we do best, sit, smoke, drink and laugh. She hunkers on her chair like a small kid (she's not very big) and makes me laugh on a regular basis. Her floor is covered with stick pins and bits of material from an upholstering job she has on the go and which she will practically charge nothing for!! She's the only one around that does that kind of work and still she will not charge what she should.
I'm paranoid of the stick pins scattered about (sure that one will lodge in my foot) and she walks through them barefoot without a care in the world...lol. Just another of her amazing qualities.
So we've been to the stores and back and we've had a couple of drinks and she has still not gone for her morning pee. We all know where this is going...lol. Yep, it's time for the pee pee dance. Squatted up on her chair, she's not even sure the pee pee dance will save her and she starts eyeing up the foam on the floor by her chair. I'm killing myself laughing as she jokingly suggests using the foam pieces to catch the pee she fears will run out of her before she gets to the toilet.

  

Ok, she's not wearing those pj's this time but the stance is similar and I got to tell you it busts me up watching her contorted movements as she makes her way to the thrown. "Holy frig," she yells, "it's just like Niagra Falls!" I'm laughing like an idiot and I know that no matter how long I'm there, she won't have to go again. I'm jealous, I can't go more then half an hour and I'm on the run. But that's ok, when I'm at her place I'm saving toilet tissue at my place...lol

The rest of the afternoon we talk about her business and I try to help by contributing odds and ends that I know she'll need. She will make this business work, I know this for a fact! She is so diversified and talented that it's impossible for her to fail at anything she puts her mind to.

So that was our day yesterday and yes, IT WAS TIME WELL SPENT!

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Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Gander or bust or be busted....

These two BFF's don't like POT HOLES!!!! 
 

Four hours on the road is bad enough but dealing with killer craters is just criminal! The government will pay to post a flashing warning sign (just one on the whole trip), but they won't send out a crew! Someone's gonna get killed!!

    

This would've been better then nothing...lol



     And if you're not going to fix them then my friend will put them to good use! She's the one with the green thumb...lol








HAVE A CRAZY BFF DAY AND OH YEA! HAPPY APRIL 1ST!

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Sunday, 30 March 2014

What happens when a man.....?

We get together about twice a week and the conversations are always lively! We have a lot of interests in common which is why we enjoy each other's company so much.


 We don't, however, drink a lot of coffee...lol.



We prefer this....
  And a whole lot of...

Yesterday's topic got completely silly but at the time we thought it was a legitimate subject. My friend's boyfriend was in attendance but he refused to answer our queries. 

It all started with her finally having to go for a pee after observing my many trips to the washroom. She gives me a hard time because I'm on the run every 10 minutes while she seems to be able to hold her water for hours on end. When it catches up with her she's a riot to watch because she leaves it until walking is actually quite difficult for her.

It never fails to send me into a fit of laughing when I see her do the piss dance. 

After returning to the kitchen table (where we always sit) and feeling much relieved she suddenly asked the question of the day...lol

"You know how sometimes when you pee really hard (this is serious), and a little piece of poo-poo pops out?" 
(An incomplete sentence but she's not finished yet.)
"What happens when guys are standing up peeing, and a piece of poop wants to pop out?"
(Now I'm laughing again and her boyfriend wants no part of the conversation.)
She's not getting an answer and a question of my own comes to mind. And of course I'm keeping on the same theme. 


 "Yea, and when a guy sits on the thrown, do his jewels dangle in the water or touch the cold porcelain?"

Now the boyfriend is clearly uncomfortable, still refusing to answer and looking for an excuse to get away from us! 

My friend and I think these are legitimate questions, even though we are both laughing. The biggest giggle comes from the expression on the man's face!

We're going to continue to ponder this until the next whacky subject presents itself...


Have an awesome day and join us again for more crazy talk...